(San Rafael Mission circa 2005)
Top Ten Most Memorable Sacrament Meetings
- Once when I was speaking, my stockings rolled down to my thighs. I couldn't pull them up, obviously, but I was worried the whole time. The talk was sub-par.
- This kid spoke about his experiences with "pone." He had a speech impediment and couldn't say his "r's." Pone with an r..... Maybe you had to be there.
- A woman who had a lot of anxiety about speaking actually passed out and had to be carried from the room.
- The person conducting forgot the sacrament portion of the meeting and moved right on with his testimony.
- They didn't use bread, they used saltines.
- A missionary who was supposed to be on his mission burst through the doors on the stand and demanded time at the pulpit. He was home! Surprise!
- Max couldn't stop licking the brass buttons on the sleeve of the guy sitting in front of us.
- Claire stood up and proclaimed at the top of her lungs that she was never getting baptized.
- The time I forgot to put my shoes on and wore slippers to church. Oh yeah, I was conducting the Primary program.
- True story from when I was a kid: a woman stood up to speak and publicly accused the RS President of sleeping with her husband. She was crazy, of course. The bishop told us to go home and never speak of the matter again.
Who wants to come to church with me? I'm a lucky one.
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43 comments:
The "pone" sacrament was the best EVER!! plus the fainting one was pretty good too. Did the missionary have TP as a couple of his initials? If so, I remember that one too. But the "Pone" is legend and STILL makes me hysterical. Memories.....
my favs--#8 and #10
sign me up.
this sounds like a fun place to be.
Your church sounds like so much fun. We don't get anything remotely like that in Alpine.
I love that you went to church in your slippers. I would so do that! I walked out the door one day in two different shoes, but caught myself just as I was climbing in the car.
I want to go with you. Maybe you could make visits and fun things would happen at each of our wards ? What do ya think???
Those did NOT all happen. Really? Seriously.
This made my night! I love that your bishop told you never to speak of #10 again. (Nevermind that now it's on the blog!)
There is a lady in our ward who tells the story of her husband's murder every sac. mtg here. We're not sure if it's true, but every one sure listens. She is the free square in testimony bingo.
Holy Smokes, Celia! I could not stop laughing as I read this...I know people fainting isn't funny but...all of these are memorable, to say the very least. You are a lucky girl.
Did that missionary come home super early, or was it the end of his mission and he surprised everyone that he had already come home, but his flight wasn't supposed to be for two days or something?
I love the picture...your kids are so cute!
Celia! Your church posts are my complete favorite! I would love to sit beside you during Sacrament Meeting...because you make every Sunday seem so fun and funny.
Our family joke is the time a new RM stood up to speak and started getting light-headed and dizzy. Suddenly he started swaying and a woman in the congregation belts out, "He's going down!"
I don't remember what happened after that...but "He's going down" is a little catch-phrase in our private family lexicon. Funny!
Hilarious Hersey! We used to live in a ward where some doozies came out for Testimony meeting. I was never last for a testimony meeting, had to get a front row seat. We liked to think it was because our building was on the bus line and they came in for A/C but looks like they travel nationwide. Good times.
I went to church barefoot once, got half way there before I realized. Went back home. Once I was home couldn't remember why I was there and went back to church barefoot. Maybe I'm the fruitcake!
Oh, these were RICH, Celia. They all made me laugh histerically!!
The RS pres accused of sleeping with someone's husband is the very best one.
I have nothing exciting that happens over here. One time I forgot to wear my bra to church (and hello... I NEVER forget that) and I was wearing a white sweater at the time and I kept thinking the whole time that it felt weird that day. I didn't realize it until the LAST block of church when I was teaching YW. I was mortified!
One time when we were students in Minnesota, a new man moved into the ward from Fiji. The bishop asked us to have him over for dinner. He spent the entire evening telling us about the man he killed in Fiji, and how he hoped he could make enough money to bring his family over. YIKES! We got rid of him and immediately tattled to the bishop. He never did come to church after that. Hmmm...
Susan-
What do you MEAN nothing exciting happens in Alpine. Don't you have a certain lady who once resided in our zip code that had a certain hip surgery like 17 years ago, and still talks about how she recieved her hipamony in your ward? I know its true.
Even I would come to church with you if you could guarentee those kind of meetings.
I can't believe all those things really happened. That is so crazy. And to think our kids think church is boring.
It was KP and Byron reminded me that it was "pono-pono-pono, i open up the computa and all it is is pono-pono-pono". Did you ever hear about the ward council meeting and 'titties'? Call, I'll tell you!!! It's rich.
Classic! Be sure those make it to your journal.
The memorable ones never leave you. We had a sister who would always cry and "eat" the microphone. Another one saw Jesus in the grain of a certain piece of wood paneling in the building. I would sit there and stare at that paneling every sacrament meeting, but I guess I wasn't spiritual enough....I couldn't see Him.
That was over 30 years ago and our family still giggles over those moments.....
We could easily double your list if you move into our ward...I totally remember #3!
I can't even type I'm laughing SO hard. Really, I can add nothing.
Too funny. I'm always afraid of getting struck by lightening when I make fun of someone's testimony or other behavior in church, but sometimes I can't help myself! Love it!
Oh my, I am laughing so hard. Crystal told me I needed to be sure to read your blog everyday because it was so funny. She wasn't kidding.
The only kind of funny Sacrament meeting I've had was when a teenager stood up, and with dead seriousness said, "I have to go to the bathroom so bad right now, but I really felt like I should get up and bear my testimony." I did get a good laugh out of that one.
Saltines,huh? I guess you get some water after to wash that salty down. How messy though. Were they all crumbs? When I was a kid we had a guy stand at the pulpit on fast Sunday speaking in tongues. Yeah, he was crazy too and was physically removed from the pulpit.
Those are very very good.
Those are very very good.
I'm laughing so hard. Where does this stuff come from!? I laughed out loud at Claire's declaration. BUT, what was up with the missionary coming home? Had he just left his mission early? What did he want to say at the pulpit? Was he given time? That's crazy. Also love the adultery accusation. Good stuff.
THAT'S IT! I am moving into your ward...you have room at your house for 6 more, right?
That was a gut buster! I love the woman accusing the RS pres of sleeping of her pres. By the way, we aren't obeying Bishops request, we are speaking of it again.....
Wow, those are some good ones! I had a good laugh! And I hate panty hose; I refuse to wear them. You're story justified my dislike of them even more.
maybe i should quit staring at the wooden spoon and pay attention to the pulpit. sounds like there might be something worth watching.
you kill me.
Yay, Yay, Yay...I was there for #6!!!!! That was so funny, but slightly awkward! I miss B-wood. And Jeni, I do remember those as well.
A couple weeks ago we got frozen waffles as Sacrament bread. I nearly died laughing. What about Alice screaming at the top of her lungs, "DAD, DAD!"
What?!!! Are you kidding me? Thanks for the good laugh, I've been home all day with the kids and am still in my pajamas. I'm beginning to notice signs of depressions and feel my spirits rising. I once wore pink plastic flip flops to church when I was teaching in Relief Society! This week when I spoke, my big belly kept hitting the podium and it was a bit uncomfortable and distracting. I think my baby didn't like it much either.
Was it your ward where the kids showed up with blue mouths from their mother's nipple yeast infection?
Nor, I'm going to wait until next Sunday for your story. It really is too good to be true.
As for the missionary, he'd only been out a few months before he made his surprise appearance.
Start paying attention in church, ladies. I bet you have good stuff in your ward and you just haven't committed it to memory.
Just this month a woman giving the RS lesson said, "Well, maybe Joseph Smith did polygamy. I know I'd rather have a polygamist husband than one with a mistress like mine." You could have heard a pin drop.
Nor, They had "Purple Mouths", and yes, I was in the ward for that one too! Can't wait to hear your story about it Celia!
Wow! YOu are a lucky one, how come nothing exciting ever happens in my ward?!
Is your ward full of a bunch of loonies or what? I don't think I have EVER heard any stories like any of yours. I loved this post and can't wait to hear about the blue/purple mouths...Bizarre.
Are those Damnville experiences or Brentwood ones? I'm guessing Damnville.
Even more reasons to move back to California!
Things I wish I had seen in person:
1. The talk on 'pone'
2. Licking the brass buttons...I was fully expecting you to say they were on his own jacket...I laughed out loud when I read they were on some random person's.
3. Going to church with slippers on for the primary program. Makes me remember the time I forgot to put on a bra...and then sat in the front, on the stand, with my sunbeams for the primary program. I didn't notice the lack-of-bra until AFTER the entire program was over.
Hi Celia--I'm a lurker. But I just wanted to note that I'm one of those RMs that started swaying at the pulpit and someone yelled out "She's going down!" right before I passed out. Good times. I blame it on no sleep for 72 hrs and all the parasites I had been ingesting for the past 18 months. I'm thinking I made it onto some people's most memorable sacrament meetings list, for which I am quite proud.
FOR REAL?
I want to come to your church because NOTHING even remotely exciting has ever happened at ours. That is crazy funny!!!!!!!!!
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