Thirty-five Percent Less of Me to Love

Day of Reckoning, 38th bday. People ask me if I hate looking at old pictures of my heavier self. I don't. I had a good life then and there was plenty to be happy about.

In October of 2008 I turned 38, and it was a tough birthday for me. I panicked at the realization that in 2 short years I would be 40, and I didn't feel like I was ready. I needed to make some changes, including improving my health.

I didn't feel unhealthy. My blood pressure has always been good, I wasn't pre-diabetic, and I was pretty happy. I liked myself. I was mostly fine with being overweight. In fact, it seemed to bother other people more than it bothered me. Sure, there were times when my size was a bummer, but that was nothing compared with the pleasure I derived from food.

I still love food.

Even so, I knew that I needed to change my lifestyle. On January 7, 2009 I started the first of what turned out to be many regimens. I didn't tell anyone until I'd had some success, and even then I didn't really like to talk about it. I felt like it wasn't anybody's business. Plus I didn't want to jinx myself.

Six months out. I'm the one in the pink. I know it's hard to tell because I'm practically twins with my little sis.

For the first six months of my project, I did Isagenix shakes. I didn't do their multilevel marketing pills and stuff, but I liked the shakes. I'd drink a couple a day and then eat a regular dinner. It worked for a while and then it stopped working.

When I got bored of shakes, I started counting calories and logging my food. I had an app on my phone that would help me figure out the calories of food I ate. I also tracked my weight every day. I freaking hate my scale. The logging was good for a while because it was like a game: how many calories could I save for later? How can I record one and a half chocolate chip cookies?

Birthday 39. More than halfway there. Did I mention this whole thing took FOREVER? It's good I gave myself such a large window. Notice the vanilla in the picture. I used it in my shakes with my best friend, Splenda.

When counting calories wasn't working anymore, I started paying attention to ratios. On livestrong.com you can enter food and it tells you what percentage of fat, carbs, and protein you are eating. I tried to get 30 percent fat, 30 percent carbs, and 40 percent protein. I liked this method because it could dictate to me what to have for dinner. I'd mostly go over on carbs.

After doing all of that calorie stuff, I learned that I can eat about 1200 calories a day and lose weight s-l-o-w-l-y. It's practically starving. I have the worst metabolism ever, and I'd like to thank Grandma Betty, RIP for that.

Mother's Day this year. I'm glad I haven't sized out of that sweater because I like it. I'm going to keep telling myself that.

Next I entered the Every Five Pounds phase of my weight loss project. The Every Five Pounds method is picking some stupid fad diet and trying it, then losing five pounds, and then quitting. I cycled through Atkins, HCG, Zone, South Beach, blah blah blah. Luckily I was able to check most of those books out of the library so I didn't waste my money. Still, they all worked to a degree.

Just for the record, it wasn't all as smooth as I am making this sound. Blood, sweat, and tears, baby. Not to mention obsession, depression, and regression. I feel sorry for and grateful for all of my people who acted as counselors to me.

Finally, I moved to my current food program which is my favorite and I think I will be able to sustain for my life. I hope. More about that later.

Gosh, if I only had a picture of myself in a bathing suit, then I could post myself in all of my glory. I'll have to get right on that.

I'm 40 now. I achieved my goal with a month left to go. I'm very impressed with myself and I've got the size eight skinny jeans to prove it. No fair looking at the muffin top. Now I can move on. Just as soon as I lose another 10 pounds....