Heathen Halloween

When I used to be the Good Enough Mom back in 2007, I wrote a clever post. Now I'm not even the Good Enough Mom anymore. I'm the Half-A**ed Mom. I don't even miss the other half.

Alice was a kitty cat for Halloween this year. The costume is leftover from when Claire was three. Imagine that I posted a picture of Claire wearing the costume. It needed the marabou replenished so I bought some at the Frightful Fabric store. For the record, gluing marabou to fabric with a glue gun doesn't work, but safety pins do. Gluing marabou to cardboard triangles and gluing those to plastic barrettes does work, but your kitty cat might end up needing an otoplasty.

I think Claire was a geisha for Halloween. It was hard to tell what her costume was because she was so busy flitting about from party to party. Her favorite part of the outfit was the excessive liquid eyeliner. I'm just glad she didn't dress up as a call girl like so many teen aged girls do.

Ah, Henry. Henry wanted to be a lawn for Halloween. He thought there should be fake poop on the lawn. Then he changed to Mr. Peanut because he wanted to wear a monocle. After a few more (impossible) ideas, he finally settled on a fourth grade science book with him, Mr. Science Genius, inside. The back of his costume consists of his favorite science facts. I bought him some blue long underwear to match the book, but he refused to wear it. It's underwear, you know.

Carl is featured in this photo at Henry's school parade. He wore his Work-At-Home Dad costume, complete with slippers.

Max wanted to be Max, King of All Wild Things for Halloween. I'm happy that he isn't too old. After I bought the ingredients for the costume, Max swept them away. Then today he took the stuff to his friend's house where his friend's mom made his costume for him. Apparently it is:

1. 
   
   Dorky if your mom makes your costume.


2. 
   
   Not dorky if your friend's mom makes your costume.


3. 
   
   Not dorky to wear a kid costume when you are 16.

Here's a not-secret:

1. 
   
   Friend's mom did a better job than I would have.


2. 
   
   I didn't want to make it in the first place.

So there.

Speaking of dorky, Carl and I dressed up as Hansel and Gretel for Halloween. Carl looked super cute in his real lederhosen and almost wore it to church today with a tie. We won a costume contest. We lost to Bella and Edward last year so I needed a win this time. and now my life is complete. I might have voted for myself. I made sure to spell my name wrong so nobody knew.

Claire and her not-boyfriend, sort of like the guy at the school dance on Friday. She said he kept trying to dance inappropriately with her, so she told him that if he wanted to dance with her, he would "first need to ask her, and then dance like a gentleman." Claire has a surplus of confidence.

We went to the local pumpkin patch a couple of times this year. I like to go at least twice a year so I can think of the other thirty times I've been there. Alice wore her Baby Bop costume instead of kitty. Sick of kitty.

Batch two of jack-o-lanterns. First batch rotted. Halloween wouldn't be the same without me nagging my husband to carve and him finally carving ten minutes before trick-or-treating.

Because it isn't enough pressure to get ready for Halloween, Henry had a tombstone project due Friday. It's actually a cute idea. The kids are assigned a famous Californian to memorialize and then on Halloween they put tombstones all over the school. Henry had Henry Wells of Wells Fargo. His tombstone was not the biggest or smallest or lamest or best.

Cute cousins watching Griffin's Thriller dance at his hip-hop class.

And that's the tail end.