Is There Womb Enough?

Here's the big news that has forced me out of hiding:

I'm pregnant with identical twins.

I'm not sure how to make this funny or interesting because mostly it's just shocking, so I'm going to give you the timeline because that's what everyone seems to want once they can speak again.

November 16, 2006 - My darling Alice is born and when they hand her to me, I say to my husband "I never have to be pregnant again."

July 2012 - My mother sends a prescient text message to me and all of my sisters about how I should have more children, something that she has been bugging me to do since Alice was born.  Camille, my baby sister, was born when my mom was 42 and she is the favorite. I laugh loudly at Pam's text.

August 2012 - Alice starts kindergarten and I feel free. High five other moms. Other stuff must have happened in August also.

September 9 - Carl returns from taking Max to his freshman year of college at BYUI.

Sept 12 - At the dollar store, I happen to pick up a PG test since I am late.  Not worried.  Having perimenopausal symptoms.  Later that night, get a positive result.  Still not worried. You get what you pay for at the dollar store.

Sept 20 - Finally call the dr.  They force me in the same day.  Something about Advanced Maternal Age.  Experience extreme shock when there turns out to be a baby in me.  The poor nurse starts talking to me about my options.  No options.  The appointment finishes with her asking if I'm ok to drive and requesting my husband come to the next appointment.  Other than my husband, I tell nobody, but HF and I have some long conversations.  Mostly me doing the talking and crying.  Reassurance comes sporadically.

Oct 2 - Go to the next dr appointment with husband after processing for two weeks.  I feel sorry for the nurse while she takes extra long to tell us what she sees on the ultrasound screen. She must be afraid of me after last time.  She half-whispers "It's twins" and turns the screen toward me.  I look at Carl and all of the blood drains from his face.  I throw my head back and start laughing hysterically.  Carl double checks the machine for fake tapes of twins.

Oct 4 - Go on trip to the Grand Canyon with cousin who has twins.  Receive much needed therapy and pep talks in between barfing and sleeping.

Oct 12 - Go to dr again after problems with pregnancy start showing up.  Twins still there.  Decide to tell kids about pregnancy (but not twins) because problems incapacitate me. Kids are thrilled, especially since I have been feeling crummy for a month and they are worried I have an extreme illness.  Poor Henry.  He thought I was dying.  Claire started asking me if I was pregnant three weeks before but I denied.  Let the record show, she was right.

Oct 14 - My 42 birthday! I invite my extended family over for the reveal, except it turns out that most of them already knew about the pregnancy (but not the twins!).  I had to tell my mom and sisters because I was missing Camille's endowment session the day before and that would have been unforgivable.  I put some naked babies and bottles with candy in a woman pinata and the kids busted it open.  I also had an envelope with the words We're Having Twins!!! inside addressed to my kids.  After the candy part, Claire and Henry opened the envelope and yelled the news.  Everybody was so surprised!  It was exciting.

The rest of my bday I spent texting the ultrasound photos to my friends and telling them about my birthday present.  I wanted people to be able to be shocked in private.  It's what I would want.  People have been so encouraging and helpful and this is turning out to be a great experience except when I feel like crap.  Then I hate it.

So... I'm back because being pregnant is so blog worthy for me.  I think a lot of things.  Thanks for encouraging my return and don't worry about being good readers or commenters.  It's a pleasure to be here.

Now I have to figure out the new format.