Real photo of real cabin from earlier visitor. Not kidding.
Dear Self,
You are scheduled to go to sixth grade science camp tomorrow morning for four days. What were you thinking? Why are you subjecting yourself to certain misery? Is spying on your daughter really worth all of this psychic pain?
Included in your duties are:
- Twenty-two hours daily with ten girls in varying stages of puberty.
- Sleeping in a "tent cabin" on unknown but certainly disgusting cots.
- Rumors of rat sightings.
- Cafeteria food that includes canned vegetables and mystery meat.
- Miles of hiking up and down hills.
- Enthusiasm for science related activities including banana slugs.
- Socializing with other adults, none of whom are previously known.
You've tried to manage everything you could, Self. You visited the science teacher and stacked your group with known girls. You've called the person in charge of lodging and claimed "exhaustion induced migraines" in hopes of obtaining a decent room. But there are other options, Self. It's not too late. You could always
- Perform arson in the Santa Cruz Mountains.
- Fake pregnancy.
- Break something more serious than a toe.
- Kiss Brigitta in order to contract a gastrointestinal illness.
- Beg husband to forbid you to go.
- Fail to show up.
Currently you are supposed to be packing, but you find yourself paralyzed. If you don't pack, maybe science camp will never become a reality. Self, you are having a lot of anxiety. It's probably going to be just fine. Unless it's not.
Love and admiration,
Celia Fae
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23 comments:
Wow! Good luck with that one! You are a good Mom, I would NEVER sign up for camping of any kind. Have fun, be safe, and watch out for rats and other creepy crawly things! YUCK!
While spying on your children is a very valid reason for signing up to help with school related outings, there is almost always a down side. You could claim you have blogging responsibilities and can't possibly miss your deadline...(after all, what will we do without you for FOUR days!) I can't wait to hear all about your adventures...have fun!!!
Um, yeah, I got nothin'. Good luck and try not to fall out the windows of those oh so inviting cabins.
You came up with some brilliant ideas to get out of the whole ordeal...I especially liked the ideas of performing arson in the Santa Cruz Mountains and faking pregnancy. You know...a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.
Hey, don't worry though...I read on Jeni's blog that her son taught her after his trip there that if you chop the heads off of fire ants and eat the bodies they taste just like Sour Skittles! See!? It is going to be so fun!
i just had a flashback of my last experience as a leader at girls camp. the girls had "cabins" exactly like those. and some other girls came over to play pranks on our girls at night. i was sleeping alone in my tent and they woke me up with their noise. i listened quietly for a minute and then i screamed "IF YOU GIRLS DON'T GO BACK TO YOUR SITE AND LET ME GET SOME SLEEP, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"
they were so scared. it was the best part of camp for me that year.
the moral of that story is you can be as mean as you want. what are they gonna do, send you home? you could be so lucky.
I vote for the fake pregnancy thing. That way, you could milk it with your friends and family, too. Get meals sent over, have someone watch your kids.
Good luck at camp... just pretend that it's... umm... I don't know what you could pretend it is that is different, but good luck!
Major mom points for that one.
Little tip: Bring a fitted sheet to put over the "sure to be disgusting" mattress; that way if you sleeping bag or pillow move around in the night you won't be stuck waking up with your face on the mattress.
I am sure it will end up being better then you think, since you've are prepared for it to be horrible you might have a pleasant surprise and it will just be semi horrible and not completely miserable. Have fun. Keep me posted
Good luck!
Ya, you probably should have come over to our house, because now Jacob has what I had yesterday!!!!!!
You have my love and admiration too. Praying that your iphone works there.... 4 days is a lot.
WHERE did you get the polka dotted background??? Is it tristan the great?
I would be scarred for life if I had to go. I'm with Liz, you have deadlines and responsibilities to your blog fans. On the other hand, you will come back with a lot of good material. We'll be waiting with love and admiration.
Oh, that sounds really horrible. You have my sympathies...
What is up with the comments? It's so weird. Me no likey.
Ya know, I remember back in the days of girls camp that if one of us was on our period, we got better ammenities. Maybe fake that.
Go and look for everything you can to enjoy. "And it came to pass" will be invoked and you will be home soon. Just think about how you are a part of making it a wonderful experience for the girls. They will love it and never realize the effort that goes into it until they are adults and have to serve in this way themselves.
It wouldn't be my idea of great and wonderful, either.
Good luck, however it works out.
Sounds like the longest 4 days of your life. Blessings abound!
Oh! I want one of those adorable little cabins in my backyard! You've inspired me!
Seriously, I am soooooooo jealous!
I'm sorry...I can't wait to hear all about it.
Be careful in faking pregnancy...PiP did that once, and then it turned out that she really was! Ha! The joke was on her!
Claire says, "Oh, their so cute looking...with the cute little curtains..." See it through the eyes of a child Celia!
Blech. I hope you packed some flip flops before venturing in yourself.
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