My family of origin, circa 1987: Jim and Pam, parents. Me (I'm always the old one), Paige (sassy satin shirt), Nate (note the stylish pink shirt), Ellie (pre-perm), Lenore (naughty one ruining picture) Val (blondest hair), Phil (the only time in his life he was ever chubby). Camille is but a thought.
I've always been a good eater. As a child, I was a member of the clean plate club (not a subsidiary of the Mickey Mouse club, but you could've fooled me). My siblings, however, were notorious picky eaters. They spent a lot of time resting on the Bench:
My great-grandfather CN Christensen made the Bench. Little did he know that it would be used to torture a whole generation of children who didn't eat their dinners. You see, people who didn't eat their food had to spend the evening on the Bench. You could lie down on the Bench, you could hang off the bench, but you couldn't leave the Bench until you had finished your dinner.
Paige (her palate has matured) and Nate would most often reside on the Bench. Sometimes they would try to get away with burying their gross food in a potted plant near the Bench, but my mom started checking. Sometimes I would take pity on them (not very often) and eat their food so they wouldn't have to live on the Bench. I was a good eater. Still am.
There were a couple of Bench foods that I remember best. The first was a cannoli dish my mom made, but only once, because we thought the name was Cambodian baloney and we made sure to chant the unfortunate title all evening. We all had to stay on the Bench. Another Bench food is shown above: stuffed bell peppers. I happened to love stuffed bell peppers. In fact, I loved them so much I would request them yearly on my birthday. What a great birthday meal! Torture your siblings and have a birthday all on the same night!
The Bench still lives at my parents house. Sometimes, when a grandchild is visiting, it gets to relive its glory days and have a picky child spend an evening there.
The Bench moonlights as a prop for my mother's plays, one of which will be presented the first and second weekends in March. If you'd like to buy tickets to the stage adaptation of Mulan featuring 45 10-16 year olds, click here. I can arrange a special meeting for you and the Bench. I won't even make you eat any baloney.
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25 comments:
My family claim to fame: Refusing to eat my mom's Breakfast Pizza on Christmas morning. None of the other kids could see their Christmas loot until I finished eating my piece.
My siblings LOVED me that Christmas.
Of course such behavior means that I am cursed with a three-year-old picky eater now.
You crack me up Celia!
I could have serious nightmares about said bench. I shudder thinking about it...
I was SUPER picky as a kid but thankfully (on this regard only) my parents made me what I liked...because they could. And, when I got older, I grew out of it.
Our rule is if you don't eat most of your dinner (most does not equal all...but mom or dad have to deem it an appropriate amount) you can't eat until the next meal and you lose dessert. It's worked pretty good here.
I hated stuffed bell peppers. I just had a horrible childhood flashback. Thanks for that.
Love the family photo!
Stuffed peppers--icky.
I need the bench, maybe I can get Jaden to eat his veggies if I had it.
I never make my kids "clean their plate"
I have big issues with this so I'm going to stop typing now....
We have two benches at my house and they get used quite often for the same purpose. Well, usually it's just because they JUST asked for more and then say they are full. When will they learn?
Thanks for all the blogging referrals. I've had many a visitor that can be traced back to you. You are the mother of bloggers and my mentor.
i quickley scanned your title and the caption under your picture. the two words that stuck out were "cambodian" and "origin". i've always thought you look a little different from your siblings because of your coloring. so my first thought was, "OH! she's adopted, and of cambodian origin! this is a deep, self-expository post."
then i saw the bench and the word baloney, and corrected myself.
imagine that. you're not part cambodian.
The picture is classic. Does Paige mind me saying how much she looks like your mother?
I totally remember my mom serving stuffed peppers. I was okay with the stuffed part...the peppers not so much.
I was a member of the clean plate club too...still am...is that a good thing?
I just had major food issues with my 12 year old this morning. I am still recovering and I DON'T want to talk about it. But I did love your story and I think I have really eaten Cambodian Baloney.
I think your great-grandfather would be proud of his multi-use bench-- torture chamber/prop.
I need a bench in my house for my fat ol' patootie...perhaps, it would inspire me to quit eating...nah, maybe I should just get my jaw wired shut.
I truly enjoyed this post...it was lovely to hear how you tried to eat your siblings to freedom, at times...You are very selfless.
you make me laugh.
i can't wait to meet you for reals. and have i told you yet, if i have a girl, her name is gonna be claire. great minds think alike.
My mom's most infamous meal was moussaka (not sure how to spell it, but it involved lots of eggplant). We still gag thinking about it today.
My parents were just the same with me. Wish they'd have LET me leave some food untouched. Might not like food so much today if they had.
You're such a good sister to rescue Paige and Nate from the bench on occasion.
I know I would have spent a huge part of my childhood on that bench. I'm still a picky eater, but will eat almost anything as long as it is prepared well.
Lots of thoughts....
1. I have the number for CPS in my rolodex, Camille is still at home and there may need to be an intervention on her behalf. You aren't there enough to eat for her.
2. Somebody really thought you were Cambodian?
3. Jeffrey doesn't eat anything unless it ends in ugget. I need a bench.
4. Tylyn would have been on that bench so much she would have BECOME the bench.
5. I loved stuffed peppers, we might have to do lunch. I'll cook. You bring the chocolate.
I love stuffed bell peppers. I was a member of the clean your plate club too and I thoroughly enjoy eating and most foods. I have a VERY picky child and a semi-picky husband. I could use a bench for both of them.
I don't like the way I punctuated my comment...It makes it look like you are only selfless "at times"...what I meant was "sometimes" you would try to eat your siblings to freedom, not "at times"
Perhaps I obsess too much about my comments, huh?
I was a very picky eater and tried everything to get out of eating dinner. I even thought I was so clever when I stuffed my mouth full of food, excused myself to the bathroom and spit everything out in the toilet. I thought I could just repeating that until my plate was empty. Didn't work.
Love the Bench story though. That is awesome.
I actually like those pepper things now, but the memories are so bad I can't sit on that bench and eat them.
It is because of that bench I am a "finisher" and finish all the food on the plate, thus plaguing me with a lifetime of obesity. When I got my most recent kitchen table, I also got a bench to continue the tradition of torture. Unfortunately we have never made our kids finish anything.
We had a bench too. I frequented the bench often in our vegetarian days when my mom made celery loaf and a horribly disgusting dish known as shanky noodle.
Great post idea.
Love the Bench and Stuffed Bell Peppers! I am a total finisher, and my oldest two kids are as well. The youngest is very Picky!
I'll only come to watch the play if I get to consume stuffed bell peppers--yum!
Ellie and I used to pull the old switcheroo: she'd grab my meat and stuff it in her mouth, I'd swipe her veggies and wolf them down. Thank you for the delicious dinner, may I please be excused?
Reading this post made me feel the way I do when I read a good, comfortable book. You're a great writer!
So I have to ask, do you have a bench at your house? This is a battle I wage with my in-laws. They the clean plate club too, call it that too. And they try to institute it at my house when they visit. We have slightly different rules of how much kids have to eat so it is a bit of a conflict. Needless to say a timely post for me as they are visiting!
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