Every blog I visit lately tantalizes readers with promises of Christmas cards. Apparently the blogging community spent its years before blogs perfecting the art of these cards. People send and collect the cards like they are worth money. I have been to houses that are decorated entirely in other people's Christmas cards. The industry related to making and displaying Christmas cards must make millions.
I struggle with Christmas cards. I think the years I skipped Christmas cards made me reluctant to try because there are vast holes in my collection. Years are lost. I can never catch up. Frankly, I find the whole thing overwhelming, including the mainstay of the Christmas card, the photograph.
Geting an acceptable family photograph requires three components: money, luck, and only family members present. I always seem to missing one or two of the components. Please peruse this year's photograph selection for the card and agree with me that none of them are acceptable so I am excused from card giving this year.
Okay, so Gramma Pamma is in this one. Does that matter? Can't I have a grandma/grandchild card? Do you think the other grandma would get jealous?
I don't see why I have to be in the card. I'm a perfectly acceptable picture taker. Do you think anyone cares if they don't see me? Could I draw myself in next to Max?
Alright, so there is an extra child in this one. Does it really matter? Is anyone counting?
This is my first choice. Maybe if I send it out people will think I'm not with the family anymore and they will start looking for a new wife for Carl who can be a mother to these darling children.
This is the most recent offering, but I wasn't prepared and no one is looking their best. Plus, someone is missing. Someone important.
Why do all of the pictures of my children contain an extra child? I could send this out just to prove what a wonderful person I am to have extra kids around.
This was taken at Christmas last year. Everyone has food in their mouths. Nice.
This would be a contender except you can't see the baby. And Carl is squinting. And Henry is looking down. And Claire is arching one eyebrow. And my legs are really white. Max looks fine though.
Thus you have my dilemma. Consider yourselves all carded. Don't email me your addresses unless you are
Lisa-Marie and you have a birthday coming up next Saturday. Feel free to print out this post and hang it on your Card Wreath or your Card Holder or your Card Toilet Paper Dispenser. And if I look as hot in a bra top as
Christie next year, rest assured you will get the real thing.
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25 comments:
No pressure. No pressure. It's all about da love. Your blog is card enough for me.
Hey, just because you're not as awesome as me doesn't mean you have to harp on my cards! LOL. And we're broke this year so no pictures are going out. Besides, who said you have to have a picture?
Just keep blogging. Much cooler than a card anyway.
I have stress about Christmas cards too. Last year I didn't do them, but this year my sister took a snapshot of my family and that's what I'm sending out. Even though YOU'RE not sending them out, I hope you'll let me send YOU one and you'll e-mail me your address.
Alice is so cute in every single picture you have of her. She's such a smiley baby. She and Faith will be bestest friends one day.
And you look sooo pretty in that picture where Alice is tiny and you're in the yellow shirt. Your skin, your hair. You're beautiful.
Just hire Denae's photographer to photoshop the best of everyone into one happy family pic. Who cares if you all look like aliens or the elves on that 'elf yourself' email that's going around?
You must have a card and a picture or everyone drops you off their list. It's a non-negotiable. The one with the high chair the extra kid can be cropped, but Marsha (Claire's nasty blankie, people) is in it so no go.
I vote the Alcatraz one because who cares if you are in it. Alice looks cute and it's most important. Just make sure you include your name or people will look for a wife for carl.
FOR the record, I did set up an appointment with a pro for you and your family but you couldn't handle it. So there.
Nice cop out. Your family is so stinkin' cute...I thought you would want to show them off to the world!! Like Holly said, you are totally beautiful! I loved all the pictures!!
Really? I can use the one without me? Because I will do it if I don't have to take new pictures. Start sending the addresses, girls.
You know you can PAY someone to take a nice picture for you. You can buy anything in this world...
Or just send Paige your pic and she will do it for you.
I think I just peed myself on this part--**Card Toilet Paper Dispenser**
LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The only reason why I'm sending out cards this year, Daddy's home and not deployed! I can't guarantee we'll be that lucky next year! Ya know what I'm sayin' *sigh*
p.s. I love all your contender cards! Especially with the extra kids in there! ;)
I have issues with Christmas cards, too. I think lots of people send them just so you have to send one to them. To prove it, the years I send cards, I get more than the years I don't send cards. I actually thought the tradition was dying out, and then I saw the collection a friend had. I guess I'm just dying out. Oh well. I'll print out a few blogs and hang them on my fridge.
Sending a Christmas card is a once-a-year "Hey" and see how my kids have grown. We do not display cards, we have enough clutter in the house, we do not need to add another collection, stack, or line of colorful holiday clutter. Even so, we usually do send a picture of the kids and a "letter".
Nancy is expert in telling things about the kids and fam with out having to write "Dear Family and Friends, It's been an interesting year ..." Not that that is bad or is somehow wrong. Most letters are like that, and I for the most part enjoy learning what has been going on in the past year. Having said that for me brevity is key to a good letter.
There should be a blog entry about Christmas letter no no's. (Like less is more, and thanks anyway, but I really did not need to know all that detail about your last hernia / bowel obstruction surgery.)
By the way thanks for the comment on my Christmas tree rituals. You should know that the $35 tree is in the house TODAY and thanks to yesterday's rain and wind most of my tree cleaning steps were skipped. Carl really should know that there are still very nice trees under $40 available. At that price you would be able to pay for your fakie in 3 or 4 years ;)
I hate it when well meaning people write a blog entry rather than a comment. :)) ummm... sorry guilty as charged.
Almost forgot, thanks for your Christmas-blog-o-card. The pictures are all keepers.
I was hoping to have no-card, no-guilt this year. I thought blogging was enough for the people that know and love and read me. I have nothing new to say and I have plenty of pics to document everything I did have to say.
So I decree for CF and all others--No card, NO guilt. And Merry Christmas, the lazy man's way!
As you read from my last post,I may probably be lame with the Christmas cards this year too.
So in Wade's defense, he really is a good normal guy now. Went on a mission, married in the temple, all that jazz. I hope the stealing the car was a temporary thing? Check out my photo site. There's a post for you.
http://bridget-snapshots.blogspot.com/
I think you should not send a card unless you want to. Don't give in to peer pressure. People will still send you cards because you are smart, beautiful, and gosh darnit...people like you.
In reply to your MAC question, I did make an appointment, but I don't think you need one at the counter stores. In the regular stores that stand alone, for sure you do. The eyelashes were AWESOME, not itchy, easily removable, and very fun. I love having other people do my makeup. For some reason, I can never recreate the looks myself, so it's nice to be beautiful for one night. I actually even went in yesterday and had them give me a new daytime look. They do it for free and they're super excited to doll you up. Try it and then post pics so we can see!
CELIA! and here i was, thinking i knew you so well! i already had a spot reserved under "A" on my alphabetized card display for your contribution.
-sigh-
now i'm going to send you one of mine just to guilt you into returning the gesture. what are the holidays if not filled with merry guilt and manipulation?
On mile 4 this morning I got thinking about my comment and decided it didn't sound very nice. I wasn't calling you lazy for not sending Christmas cards, just myself.
Have a great saturday, can't wait to see your weekend report.
I did one from shutterfly - and there is a picture of each of us, not together. just head shots....I will post it, so you can check out how lame we are. It was getting late and I knew we werent going to get one picture with all of us in it. I think you could say that the extra kids are ones the you are testing out to see if you will adopt. What a saint you would be!
Not until I moved here to "Anytown, USA" did I feel guilty about not sending Christmas cards. Every gal I have talked to the past few weeks has been mourning and moaning over the entire process. It makes me feel guilty for not feeling guilty enough to actually get something pulled together.
Who knows, maybe I will end up getting something out. I say it is perfectly acceptable to only send pictures of the kids and Dad. You know pictures of wives are immediately critiqued by other wives for any visible flaws to make them feel better about their own flaws. Not that I would do anything like that.
I know you love your readers as much as anyone, so I will take this blog post Christmas wish as a sincere expression of your love. Right back at ya.
Guilty. I love Christmas cards. I love seeing people I love once a year, even if only in pics. So, thank you for your card. I feel the love! :)
Readers..problem solved. I've e-mailed a new family photo for celiafae. I hope she posts the new version.
I think the picture with Carl and the kids is adorable and totally acceptable to use. Hey, someone has to take the picture. And we all know how much better we are at taking good pictures than our husbands are.
And I think that your most important friends and family READ your blog, those that don't read it, should be off the list anyway!!
How about you send out a picture of the blog party, because we know we are your real family now, anyway.
I love all the card picture contenders! You have done your job, I free you from your card obligation!
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